A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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