I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
