He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
