I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
