Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
