Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
