yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
