i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to calm my uterus...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
