I feel like abortions should bother me more
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
