I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
