My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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