How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
