Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
