I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
