No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
