it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
