her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
