hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
