I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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