Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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