Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
