The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
