Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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