piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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