o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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