Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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