I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this hospital has no fireball
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
