someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
