So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
