should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
