Do you still have your period?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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