Welp...herpes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
