I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
