And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
