My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
