i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
