You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
