perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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