i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
