Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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