I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
