I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
