My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
