You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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