you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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