I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
