There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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