I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
