do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
