don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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